Moments and Miles

 

I was going to write a cliché "19 things I learned by 19" or something post on the blog today, but the thing is, I don't really measure time in years anymore. I don't think I ever did. Let's be honest here, I have a Party Time helium tank in my room because I love balloons so much and I can make cupcakes anytime I please. I want to celebrate every day of my existence! Being alive is neat. All of my 19 revolutions around the sun all somehow mesh together and become moments in my mind. That's how I sort through time: with moments and miles. My birthday is also at a really awkward time of year when all my friends are spending time with their families (and like 90% of my friends don't live in my town) so guess what that means! 9am bubble baths and candles just because I can! Breakfast is consisting of pizza and wings; lunch is red velvet cake; then we'll be off to FINALLY see Mockingjay Pt 1, then dinner will be all the chips and salsa at my fav Mexican place, and finally, the best part of my day: movies, and ice cream by the pint with my mom. Best of all, I can walk around in my favorite combination of pink fur and sequins with balloons trailing me and nobody can question it! Except I actually wore this outfit yesterday when I actually shot it.... I haven't even put pants on today. I LOVE BIRTHDAYS. So even though today is completely irrelevant to you and the rest of the world, I'm going thoroughly enjoy all of this food, and all of the amazing people (and cats) surrounding me. Including you all!

Also, quick blogging update: Sisterhood Redefined has chosen me as one of their new writers! Wooooo. I will be posting to their lovely blog which mainly focuses on Greek life and college life-- fashion, sisterhood, recipes, DIY... okay so basically everything. My first post will be up on January fifth! I'm truly excited to test the depths of my writing a bit more and expand my horizons. (and writing portfolio haha!)

ANNNNDDD also, Her Campus has chosen me to be a part of their wonderful blogger network! I'm absolutely ecstatic to be a part of something that will help me grow as a blogger and connect with other girls like me. I'll keep you posted!

I love you all! Wear sparkles, blow up some balloons, and eat cake just because you can for me today! LIFE.

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dress: Nasty Gal

jacket: Nasty Gal- sold out:( similar here

shoes: Forever 21- also sold out:( similar here

Semester Confessions

"

So go ahead and lie to yourself, and pretend that you're a ray of light when you're a broken candle.
You're keeping time with yourself. When did it all start moving way too fast for you to handle?
Short on breath, heavy on time you lost the words but you found the rhyme; it's all just poetry now.

So catch it, it's so contagious,

this daydreamers disease.

Hope can be your sword,

slaying darkness with belief.
And we don't really care who you are,

regardless of how lost you are returning from,

regardless of how far.
So bring me all the worst of your broken, bruised, insane,

because that's the thing with music,

when it hits you feel no pain.
No matter what you did, I promise we forgave it--

all that's left is your voice, you got no choice but to raise it.
All you broken hearts, all you dejected dreams

just let yourself be free because even broken wings can fly away.

In time you'll find, this life's a painting and you're the artist.
Just open your eyes it's never to late to clear your canvas.
So paint me jealous, paint me rage;

for gods sakes paint me anything.
Just paint, your brush awaits.

"

I'm going to be honest, this semester has been the hardest of my life. Like everyone else here, I've dealt with failures, challenges, plateaus, and pain.  My internal battles have seemed never-ending, even hopeless, and, at times, I've felt alone in them. There were days, weeks even, when I both physically and mentally felt like there was no way in hell I could leave my bed. My roommates probably think I'm the weirdest person ever, honestly. I've been a bit numb almost, like I had just been drifting in and out of consciousness. I may have lost a bit of myself, but I found even more. This semester has also been the absolute best of my life; sure, I've cried a bit, but I've laughed a lot. I've found a place. I've made friends who I'm sure will be in my life and heart for my entire existence, I've met the most talented, inspiring people, and let's be honest, I LIVE with a few of them; I've had so many opportunities just laid out in front of me. I've changed my internet appearance and I've changed my point of view. I've made party plans, travel plans, and life plans.

Hi, I'm Chantel and I'm terrified.
I don't have it all figured out. I don't know which of my passions are my calling. I don't have a meticulously thought up life plan, and that's troubling to me.  But I'm excited as well. I'm ready for everything next semester. I'm ready to learn more about who I am and what I want. I'm ready to go to new places and meet new people. I'm excited by the future, but I'm still absolutely in love with the now, and I hope you all feel the same.

PS- I HIGHLY recommend reading this article written by one of my crazy talented friends. It's important.

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Dress: Wet Seal

caridgan: Wet Seal

Boots: American Eagle

Socks: American Apparel

Street Lights and Lace

"I remember every metaphor I used for you.

It’s beautiful how quickly I ran out.

It was just so difficult to describe

a forest at the bottom of an ocean on fire.

You were soft,

I was quiet.

I remember every park bench,

every broken sidewalk,

every open sky.

It was so whole.

I remember breathing,

and the lovely amount of effort it required.

I hope you do too.

They say writers remember the important things;

I say they are liars.

I remember you wore a purple flannel

the first time I saw you,

even though it isn’t your favorite color.

I remember that you take your coffee black,

and your tea with plenty of honey.

I remember the way your eyes changed color

based on the weather,

and the way you looked at the sky,

like it was endless.

You were endless.

I remember everything you taught me.

They say writers remember the important things;

I remember you."

Outlined in Oceans

Hi, hello. It's been a moment since we've last spoke. I've learned a lot about myself lately: I was built for coffee shops not bars, formals are fun, I have chill people in my life, I think I know what I want to do with my life, consistency is hard, I take too many polaroids, and I love you a lot. I was literally jumping up and down when the package came in the mail! The theme for our sorority's formal was "Red Rose Ball" so naturally, the dresses were supposed to be long-- I kind of feel like I cheated a bit, but it felt like the perfect opportunity to buy this dress I've been swooning over for months! This Forever Love and Lemons dress didn't let me down! It is absolutely flawless, from the delicate lace detailing to the mesh illusion. I'm still stunned by how intricate it's made. I can't wait for another opportunity to wear it out!

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Dress: For Love and Lemons

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

                                                  "

 I was the one you always dreamed of; 

you were the one I tried to draw.

How dare you say it's nothing to me? 

Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.
I'll make the most of all the sadness;

 you'll be a bitch because you can.
You try to hit me just to hurt me,
so you leave me feeling dirty
because you can't understand--

 we're going down,
and you can see it too.
We're going down,
and you know that we're doomed. My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room. 

                                                                                              "

Surprisingly, the majority of today's look came from a local thrift store! I found this whimsical lace tiered dress in the costume section. You heard me-- costume! I saw it there and I knew I had a vision for it. I love how edgy this dress looks with the cropped leather jacket and leather sandals. Paired with a gold belt, I felt like I was twirling in some sort of 80's movie!

My blog has a new name and new look officially. You can read all about my reasoning behind the sudden name change here. This is how I want to live-- always moving, constantly improving. I've never been good at sitting still. I thought about waiting for the new year to make some serious changes, but I couldn't do it. Life doesn't wait for anyone and neither should you. Live everyday like it's the new year. I can't wait to share what's in store with you!

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Dress: THRIFTED for like TWO freaking dollars

Jacket: H&M