Dreaming of Spring

A cool breeze has seeped into my bones,
and it blows and blows and blows --
never resting,
never stopping.
It can be both a blessing and a curse
to call nowhere and everywhere home.
To never be truly at home.
Always a stranger -- a foreigner.
It can be both a blessing and a curse
to always be restless,
whether at home, pacing.
or in some strange place, lost.
I can squeeze my life into a suitcase
yet, the world is a better fit.
The planet, with its immense oceans
can only begin to satisfy my wonder -- my hunger.
and I look up at the stars
and say, "more."
 

IT'S SPRING. My personal philosophy: always act like it's spring. All I can think of lately is pastels and blooms -- passports and travels. Not the crazy spring break college travels that make me sick at the smell of anything chemically after; I mean the real deal. Hostels and hotels; paper maps, strange languages and strangers. Pretty foreign words that pitter patter against my brain like raindrops. Enough of my daydreams; that's just what this look feels like to me: a spring day in Amsterdam, wandering through the floating flower market and picnicking at the edge of a canal at sunset. Again, I'm loving flowy, effortless looks this spring! I normally can't wear yellows because of my pale skin and hair, but something about this creamy yellow just sold me completely. I paired this easy, airy top with my favorite distressed boyfriend jeans and a pair of patent pastel sandals for the ultimate beginning of spring look. Oh, spring, thank you for your presence.

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 Top: Envy Lawrence

Boyfriend jeans: American Eagle

shoes: Forever21

Tequila Sunset

She drank him in like her friends inhaled their poison of choice:

messily and without apology --

and that's exactly what he was to her.

He was her whiskey.

He was her wine.

He was her poison.

She sipped on his words,

downed his touch,

took one last swig of his ego,

and then drowned in the apologies that never came.

He was a shot of tequila in the moonlight

when she needed a glass of water and sunshine

Day five of my South Padre Island Spring Break Adventure, and let me tell you, it has definitely been an adventure of sorts. I'm thankful to have been on this gorgeous island all week with two of my best friends. Growing up in landlocked central Kansas, going to the beach is always refreshing; standing next to the seemingly endless ocean always puts my life in perspective - even during the craziness of Spring Break shenanigans. I can't wait to live on the coast someday and eat fruit on the beach with a book to my heart's content! As fun as Spring Break has been this year, I'm really missing my cats, my parents, and my cats. I took this simple little Piko dress with me because it's just so versatile! For this shoot, I paired the breezy dress with my Jeffrey Campbell booties, some matching sunnies, and a necklace I stole from a friend (thanks Paige)! I'm really loving easy dresses and shirts for the spring -- the soft kind I can just throw on and go. I also love, love, love shopping locally. This cute little boutique on Mass called Envy has about 93851309458032 of these dresses in 593480 different colors and I just want them all! Here in SPI I used it as a cute little swimsuit cover on the beach. What has your Spring Break been like? I hope it's been full of saltwater, sunshine, and over-the-top good vibes. I love this dress, I love this boutique, I love Lawrence, I love YOU, and I can't wait to be on my way back home tomorrow!

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dress: envy (Lawrence, KS)

booties: Jeffrey Campbell

Did I Ever Wake Up?

"what you are about to experience is something words can't describe

teachers can't teach

and money can't buy.

This is art.

There's no formula to true art.

There's only feeling.

This is history.

Let the moment dictate your seconds

and swiftly allow your life to transform

from this moment on."

rewriting history

quit reliving that rerun
Hitchhiked to Venice

became an apprentice

of a guru who used to serve Dalai Lama at breakfast

and he taught me relativity to orchestrate a symphony

of positivity, empathy, synergy, and divinity

 

Health, success, and happiness will always be my mantra

Possessions don't own me, man

I learned that shit from my rasta

You got the whole world on a string

Learned that from Frank Sinatra

Long live the lizard king, forever

 

I'ma be the change that I want to see

People gon remember me,

I swear it's 1970

Money's cool and everything but I'd rather make a memory
I swear it's 1970

Current music obsession? Mod Sun. When I heard his song '1970' I knew instantly that he was going to be widely featured on my sixteen hour Spring Break trip playlist. Everything about my life in 2015 has been based around positive energy. I've learned to be picky with who I share my energy with. I've learned to reserve my time for those who reflect nothing but sincerity and kindness. I've learned that the kind of energy I exude is the kind that I attract. Listening to music that oozes that same kind of vibe is only natural at this point. Okay, so I don't normally wear t-shirts on the daily, but I am obsessed with this long-sleeved tee. It's my favorite right now. I'm a sucker for a positive quote and a comfy sleeping tee!

I've always lived with a sunny disposition and a curious mind, but last semester took a massive emotional toll on me in ways that I can't exactly put into words; I had never felt less like myself for no reason whatsoever. I should have been more excited by all of the opportunities that were presented to me during my first semester in Lawrence, but coming back to Kansas after living the biggest summertime-fairytale-adventure of my existence completely drained my mind and spirit. I let my guard slip and allowed people into my world who exhausted my emotions and made me feel like it wasn't okay to be exactly who I am as a human. After heading home for break to get some perspective from my cats (and my parents) I came back and instantly knew that I had to get back to myself. But who was that? I've never understood labels -- I despise them actually, so I decided I should just be the most me that I could ever possibly be. I wanted to radiate the most Chantel-esque energy that I could. Does that make sense? Probably not. It doesn't make sense to me either. All I know is that from the moment I made the decision to embrace everything that I am, my world started changing. Slowly at first, and then all at once. I was once again surrounded only by people who inspire me. I was again waking up completely ecstatic just to exist at all. I was beginning to remember why I loved the things I had lost interest in only months previously. Positive-energy exchange was taking place in my life. Sometimes you have to forget what you've been taught to remember what you've always known, and this book that Mod Sun wrote really reflects that idea. Okay, enough about me, this is getting increasingly mundane; onto the book I'm holding!

"The human body is single-handedly the most complicated thing ever created. Simply being born makes you incredibly smart. You breathe in and out anywhere from 15 to 25 times per minute without even thinking about it. Everyday your heart beats more than 100,000 times. We run marathons and create entire languages. You're effortlessly operating the most complex machine in existence and, if you can do that, everything else is simple. There's no such thing as hard."

-My favorite excerpt from Did I Ever Wake Up?

It's not the copy of Bhagavad Gita that I was given by a monk three summers ago, but this simple little book resonates with me on such a deep, comparable level. If you're looking for a way to ease into a conscious, positive lifestyle, looking for a refresher in simple philosophies, or even just needing a bit of inspiration, please read this. Actually, everyone could do with 79 pages of pure positivity.

 

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Mod Sun stuff: here

Shoes: Forever 21

Everything in bold=Mod Sun lyric/quote/excerpt